Mansyur S - Benci

Sounds like the title of a great book, huh? Unfortunately, it’s related to my life. In October, I was laying on the physical therapist’s table lamenting how my bad luck always seems to come in threes. I had injured my shoulder in a car accident that wasn’t my fault and having to foot the bill (it’s a long story!), and then I managed to injure my wrist in a fall at work. He jokingly said that he’d steer clear of me, incase it rubbed off. I laughed. I knew what I had wasn’t catching. And I know it’s weird to look for dissimilar things that make patterns (atleast that’s what I picked up from Numb3rs while I was sidelined), but I’m pretty certain the news about Ties of Valor was the big #3.

However, I’ve lived with greater loss…and far more sadness. That’s why I am afraid to be too overjoyed this New Year, because I’m scared the count will start over with lives in the balance. In January 31, 2000 my stepfather passed away after a weeklong coma during one of the only blizzards our town has seen in my lifetime. He’d been with my mom since I was 3. On December 21, 2002 my father passed away after a long bout with emphysema, pneumonia and lung cancer. I’d visited him every day for a month, but that Christmas I had to say goodbye. Then on Mother’s Day in 2004, my grandfather passed away after my nightlong vigil where I cried on the inside because I couldn’t do more for him as he suffered.

When 2006 came, I often sucked in my breath, waiting for another strike to continue the cycle. Would my uncle, my cousin, or even my boyfriend be next? There were close calls, like the instance where my boyfriend stepped out in front of an SUV in Atlanta during Nationals. (Needless to say he got a tongue lashing!) And the close call my brother-in-law had at work with a power lift in the mechanic’s shop. But when I heard news that my youngest cousin, a rookie Wildlife Officer, was being stationed in a district that had gone unmanned since the previous officer’s death on duty, I had cause for serious worry. When he didn’t come home for Thanksgiving because of his job, it seemed fate’s time was ripe. Thankfully that day and Christmas came and went without trouble. Then, I found myself wishing I wouldn’t get a call on the 31st.

I didn’t…but that doesn’t mean I falter in saying a special, little prayer for him at night. I know it’s silly to worry over something that might not, or hasn’t, happened, but it makes me feel better. Hopefully the small gesture of faith will make 2007 a better year for my family.

May all your endeavors (writing and otherwise) be fruitful and all your loved ones safe during `007!