Poppy Mercury - Berpisah

Earlier today I was reading a snippet of The Running Encyclopedia while waiting for my hubby to meet me. That in itself wasn't my moment of epiphany...but reading about the idea that when you need a break to take it and that the best athletes know how to step off the gas, take a breather, then jump back to breakneck speed. Sure I've raced, been to the point where I doubted I could take another step and battled through to keep chugging along with a momentary pause to regroup.

Then I shifted this idea to my writing. As I've said I haven't been writing of late. In the beginning it was an unconscious choice after being burned out from trying so hard and being rejected after my publisher's bankruptcy. I believed I'd place another book or another story, but month after month I worked and worked, but nothing big materialized. I realized I was focusing too much, that I needed to force myself to take a break. Then life got in the way. Racing took over a spot, the economy tanked any my full time job was...and quite possibly still is...in jeopardy. Not to mention planning our wedding and getting married, which shoved what time I could've written out the window except for those must does.




At times it seemed like I was doing all I could to keep up, or was always trying to get back in step, and yet I didn't feel satisfied in the job I was doing. I always seemed to be letting someone down, missing something when I should've been on top of the situation, and in short was realistically juggling too much. Stressed wasn't the word for how I felt. Trashed like a marathoner at the finish like after a pack of hills sums it up better...sapped of energy, aching from exertion, and sad because I hadn't been able to enjoy the moments along the way.

Now I think the strain from all my extra curricular activities has come due. I've gotten to the point where I just want to breathe...to be left alone to think, heck even time to read a whole book. Very much like I used to when I wrote some of my best novels. I hunger for getting back to writing, though I'll still have to juggle daily life. As a woman multi-taking is a necessity. But I also have to live...not just stick my head up just in time to see another day/week/month whisk by because I'm so busy.

Really living means being alive...not just going through the motions, like in writing. Recall how they say show don't tell? I want to be in the moment, not getting the recap via someone else.
With this breather from the "rat race" maybe I can finally get more words on the page, though I'm certain I'll have a rocky road getting my feet wet again. But I still remember all my favorite characters, their situations and want readers to get to know them. That passion is partially what drives me, so I know I'm still a writer! Hopefully when I jump back to warp speed one of my things to do will be shopping a new manuscript!




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