Latinka - Aku Bisa Mati

I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes I can break into tears over something I’m reading. What makes it even worse? When the words I’m reading are my own! And no I’m not lamenting how much the words suck, but am just so moved by the emotion of the scene. And no, this particular girly reaction doesn’t fall under PMS symptoms. To date with ten manuscripts under my belt this has happened with only two books—TIES OF VALOR and BELIEVE IN ME.

Just before I sent in TIES OF VALOR to Triskelion I gave it the one last good old read through to make it perfect. When I got to the Epilogue (which is no longer the Epilogue) I found tears rolling down my cheeks while I read the very happy ending. If memory serves correctly, I recall thinking how crazy I was for crying over something I wrote.

Then to top it off, it happened again when I was doing edits. Okay, I was stressed and PMS still wasn’t a factor, plus I wasn’t anywhere near the end this time! In fact, when I teared up I was smack dab in the middle at one of the big turning points, reading over Queen Sercie’s decision. Maybe it was because I knew Awyn and Zara wouldn’t be able to love each other openly unless things went their way. But I stress again, I wrote the words, so I knew what was going to happen. By this point in the process I had read the chapter atleast half a dozen times!

For BELIEVE IN ME the tears came during one of the final battle scenes. In it Jacqui realizes how much she has lost in her short life and uses that pain against the tyrant who threatens her life. When she cried, I was right there with her. But again I say, I wrote these words, so why did it affect me so?

I have to believe it is because I get so deeply invested in my characters that somewhere deep inside me I am living their tale via my imagination. And whether I wrote the words, what is going on in the scene…with my hero and heroine…makes me forget the fact that I crafted this piece of fiction that seems so real, atleast to me.

Have you ever had a moment when you were reading your own work, or that of someone else’s, where you caught yourself weeping? If so, share with the group and we’ll give you some cyber Kleenex!
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By the same token, I often read scenes and think, “Darn that’s good!” I don’t guess this is anything new since I used to walk into the art studio in college, see a sculpture and think, “Gosh, that’s beautiful.” Then it would hit me that the piece was mine! Needless to say in those days sleep didn’t come in large quantities (nor does it now).